Soul Searching

Every time I built a new blog site, I dealt with it honestly at the very beginning. I tried not to hide myself and let my friends know the real me.

And every time I failed.

The more attentions I got the less sense of secure I had. Especially when friends started to judge, I began to be afraid of showing my real thoughts. I attempted to give a typical and lovable portrait of myself --a well-behaved girl with good personality. That is what everyone wants to see. So I kept writing things, which are beautifully decorated by unnecessary rhetoric. I was addicted to peoples' envy and praise about my life, experience and ways of thinking.

From time to time I feel so sad about myself. I just know I will get lost sooner or later.

In fact I'm not good at expressing my feelings. I don't have that much of confidence at all. I'm not brave like you think, I feel nervous as well when I travel alone. I'm not versatile I don't even know how to play piano,

etc, etc...

If you could take all of those, just be by my side.